Myspace

I have issues with Myspace:

1. Any Internet site that bombards me constantly with adverts offends me. I know it makes it a free service but I'm still offended.

2. Half the time it's soooo slooooooow. Or broken.

3. Yes it gives people who are too lazy to learn basic HTML a chance to get something online. Very possibly maybe I'd agree that these people deserve this chance. But then a significant number of these people then blow it by thinking black text on a dark grey background (or something similar) is a good idea. These people don't deserve their own retinas.

4. Spam with chips, no. Spam with peas, no. Spam with spam, yes. I don't know who you are and your music sounds shit.

5. On the plus side, I always forget people's names so I can just look them up. Except I would, but I can't recognise anyone because they've all got pictures that are excessively arty or they've used one that's makes them really good-looking... far much more than they are in real life and I don't recognise them.

6. What the heck is it with people who are having what appears to be a fairly private conversation using publicly visible comments? Is this their voyeuristic nature? Why do I find it so fascinating to read them... damn.

7. Rather than just read an email, I get an email telling me to check the message on Myspace and it's so sloooooooow and takes so looooong. Then it breaks or I've died in the meantime. In doing so, I end up going to hell, where my 4,132 friends have said, "thanks for the add", and then fucked off into the ether and never spoken to me ever again.